his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
