I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize