I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
