Buhtt sex?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
