carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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