Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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