p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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