oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
