Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
