let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
