It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
