i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
