5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize