we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
