And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I understand Curling. That high.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
