so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
