It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
