found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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