I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
