i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
