do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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