Too much gin, very little bucket
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
