you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Your cock deserves a montage
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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