R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
