he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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