We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
