Your dad touched me again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
