she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
