Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
