i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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