im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
