Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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