Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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