im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
