Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize