i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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