Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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