Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
