Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
do nipples grow back?
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