So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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