let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
