my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
