just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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