dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
