Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize