It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
