Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize