I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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