hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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