it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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