My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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