i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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