Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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