apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want to make out with him forever
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
