I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
