I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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