We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
