I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
