First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize