I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
