I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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