ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
