I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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