We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
