she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
